In and Out of Time

I watched Madeas Family Reunion with Daisy in South Central last weekend. I was watching this when something that tore me from deep within happened somewhere else. But now, heavy again, I remember this scene, the guest appearance/words by Maya Angelou in the movie. These words and her voice sooth me, though it gives me the chills.

here’s the link. gracias dios. its on youtube. words are below. give it a moment. a few lines down is where it starts to surround me.

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance…
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids…
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there….
God…how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens….loudly screamed….
Trying to change our nightmares to dreams…
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

Rush to War (and more)

I watched a documentary during work (as i was dutifully copying and pasting) called Rush to War. As i listened, I kept pausing the documentary to google events, mainly about US war policies and CIA missions, wondering how much evidence there was to support such “liberal” or “un-patriotic” statements (as many would call them). Surprisingly, the topics mentioned in the film not only had tons of supporting evidence, but it was also ready available to the public.

We are so fearful to suspect our government of tyranny, of deceit. And it’s not because our government hasn’t been caught lying - it has. Blatantly (the most obvious examples, but therefore all the more powerful because we all know about it, are the “undoutable existence of WOMD” and Vietnam). Bush may be dumb, but his companions understood the willingness of citizens to automatically believe whatever their president says.

anyways. mostly for my benefit, but for others interested, here’s some things i learned in the documentary and in my research after/ This is just a spewing of what I got, read, and thought after of the documentary - it’s no research paper. Its kinda long, so you might not read it. But I think it’s worth it to do so. I tried to create some order with subcategories by quotes in the documentary.

We do not have the god-given right to shape every nation in our own image or as we choose - Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara in 1960s, in retrospect of Vietnam.

It is a frightening mix of moral, Manifest Destiny type attitude in the most powerful, internationally involved country. Our belief in the world being divided into Good vs. Evil, Democratic vs. non Democratic, as if all democratic countries are good, and all non democratic countries are bad, is so not with reality. The lines are mixed. We know that some “democratic” countries are militant and oppressive (dramatic example: El Salvador). We also know that some “nondemocratic” countries, although there aren’t many left like this, still give freedom and a good life to its citizens (I believe Cuba is this). I forget sometimes that people don’t realize any of this, or at least don’t remember it. Maybe it is because we are so isolated from everyone, from really understanding other cultures.

If America had a track record of really bring democracy of those they invaded, it’d be a different story. Here’s a president who’s saying we’re going to war for democracy. And then you go back through history and say, “How many times have presidents said we’re going to war for democracy, and what have those wars really been about?” - Howard Zinn

This was where I mainly did my research - What did happen in Latin America and what is going on in Africa?

If America was really interested in spreading liberation and democracy, why did we crush the democratically elected government of Guatemala back in 1954 or Chile in 1973 that were actually going to help their poverty stricken people? Why were we against the revolution against the dictator of Cuba? Why did we support the military dictatorship in El Salvador that killed over 75,000 of its poverty stricken people? For that matter, why did the US Government support and help bring Saddam Hussein into power back in the 80’s as a dictator even after he gassed the Kurds in 88? Our list of “allies” isn’t with those that support true liberty and freedom for its people. It tends to be very militant “democracies” known for tyranny. If America was really interested in spreading liberation and democracy, why are we not interferring in the Sudan where military regimes, Islamic-oriented and obviously non-democratic, have been leading a civil war that includes slavery and genocide against its people for decades? Over 2 million have been killed and 5 million displaced. I haven’t even heard numbers like that in any description of problems in Iraq, yet we are there and not in Sudan.

There’s so much information on CIA’s involvement in Chile and Guatemala, overthrowing democratically elected leaders that were bent on closing the gap between rich and poor and calling for social reform, and helping militant tyrants, who are “democratic” to continue to supress their people. This is why people doubt US sincerity for helping the people.

Im going write a post on these two examples soon, so to kind of split up this long blog :).

The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. all you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacivists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger - Hermann Goering, nazi reichsmarshall

1984, V for Vendetta… intelligent people for years know that fear is by far the easiest thing to exploit to take away personal rights, and when people aren’t checking to see what is truly going on in the world, governments are being able to use this to do the worst things. The War on Terror was based on downright lies (Bush was saying they had no doubt there were WOMD to be used against the US, which was never true, and that Iraq was confirmed to purchase chemicals for such weapons from Italy, which was never confirmed or likely and later proven to be based on forged/fake documents). Most of the top people in our government were so decietful at the beginning of the war, how can we trust them now? “Six days, six weeks. I doubt six months” said Donald Rumpsfield secretary of defense when asked how long he thought we’d be in Iraq. “I really do believe we will be greeted as liberators,” said Vice President Dick Cheny. They knew better. They knew Iraq’s history, that it had Britain’s decade long invasion and imperialism of Bagdad that killed thousands and instilled a passionate heart of reistant that was still fresh. They had no real idea what an exit strategy would look like nor that we would be looked at as liberators - the British already tried that and the reaction was already there to see and learn from, though we chose not to.

Former US Ambassador Joseph Wilson said the military tactics of 2002 was “rank with imperialism and colonialism… in essence it was a rewritten document of the 1st Bush administration that said the US must maintain preponderances of power… that we will attack anyone suspected… an open license to go to war with anyone, with or without UN agreement…”

Diplomacy is dead I suppose. But I thought our idea of justice, which is the same idea that our judicial system is based on, is that anyone is innocent until proven guilty. I think we forget the forefathers believed that it was better to let a guilty man free then let a free man go to jail.

In January, 2001, 8 months before 9/11, Iraq post-war reconstruction, including peacekeeping troups, war crimes tribunals, and diving up Iraq’s oil wells, was already on the table. former - Former Treasury Sec Paul Oneal.

But I thought we invaded Iraq as a direct response to 9/11?…. nope.

Geniva convention: article 17: no physical or mental torture, nor any other form of coercion may be used to secure information.

Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General during War on Terror said that “war was a new paradigm which rendered many prevision of genevia convention quaint.” Torture crimes the Japanese and Germans had been hung for were now used by Americans, including watergating. We found we could get terrorists to confess to anything they wanted. 118 Iraqi detainees died in our custody.

A former Iraq soldier who was allowed to leave under “conscientious objections” worked at Abu Ghirad prison, the prison which has photos released to the public and showed horrible torture and humiliation to the inmates, which has previously been declared illegal in internationally and domestically. What is the most frightening, is that the solder said “Iraqis are living in a situation where they could be picked up off the street just for being a man of fighting age and taken to a prison camp and held there for six months… with no trial.. and what horror and anger that man and his village feel.” The myth is that every man picked up are terrorists and from then on, torture is alright.

Yet again, another hypocritically and deceitful statement by Bush that has a place here: “no American will be allowed to torture any human being anywhere in the world.” Have we forgotten the broken promises our government has made?

the ending thought:

As a people we are not reacting to theses horrors comited in our name. We stopped functioning as citizens who care about their country and we’ve become more about consumers addictive to a consuming lifestyle and we are willing to make any moral compromise as long as it continues to feed our addition. No UN, no checks and balances, no nothing are going to solve the problem because the motive force that draws all this, that allows politicians to take advantage of it, is the sense that you are allowed to have what others don’t have. and that’s not going to work.

not only does the wild lion not eat him…

um. this is amazing. read the story, and don’t hate on the music… this story is that epic. man. those beautiful and wise aussies.

magical teleportation box, youtube, i love you.

i am inspired to open my world to more possiblities after watching this. yah. i’m that touched.

right now i suppose


mi amor.

its been rough, and now i begin to write again, because, well, that’s just what happens. and i’m glad to write again. i’m not really saying much in this post, but for the very few (mostly myself) that used to read this, its a little placer of where I am right now.

i have no bad feelings or resentment, only the trials of being in love with someone who is not in the place to be responsible to anyone right now, who is loosing his grip and his proud heart. mi amor. sometimes i am strong and alone, swollowing my disapointment with eyes still bright, other times i am slipping into the dull, simple drull of missing a fadded time. i think i am in mourning, but still living a haunted life as he continues to be with me. but i cannot give him up. yet. soon though, it’s inevitable i think.

aigh. i am so young.
what do i even want to do with myself? alone from my man, and most of my friends, whose connection is fadding as well. people are just having fun and getting fucked up together with memories, but there is no nourishment, and i am too dry for that. i am comforted by jasmin, always my angel, heidi, a good friend, and daisy, a new co-worker who is so kind and spirited and strong. all blessings. i miss community. but i can’t really start anything since i’m supposedly leaving for Oaxaca, Mexico in 2 months (that is still in the air, but I think its going ot happen). adn when i return, I have finished college and…. starting… no idea. Well, actually, I want to give a real go for Photography and/or teach english abroad in latin america. that is what i will probably do.

but who knows really. most of the time i am centered that I just put everything out there and something will work out. I’m fine with working a min-wage job, moving to a new place, and just be alone with my projects and hobbies for a while too.

and finishing college, I realized there’s so much UCR didn’t teach me that I want, need, to know. so i start my own library education and self-motivated papers.
books i’ve begun: Fidel, Socialism, and Cuba. Are prisons obselete? Howard Zinn’s Peoples History of the US. and a few Photography books.

artists i love right now: Ida Cox, Nina Simone, Bob Dylan, Charles Mingus, Phil Ochs, Marvin Gay, Mercedes Sosa, Ravi Shankar Sigur Ros, Bone Thugs and Harmony (yes)

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LA relaxation and the no-name band

(two days ago…)
wow. i sit in my sister’s robe, in her luxurious bed, overlooking a little LA street, drinking her tea, and surfing after a lovely night of veggie tortilla soup and wine and music and some sister-sister time. so great! i feel so relaxed, not to mention ready to move out and have my own apartment :). i just realised its possibly that i only have 1.5 MONTHS left at home. crazy, huh? but who knows, there’ll prob be some transition period when I return.

AND… my friends adam, rene, ivan, sam, and eddie decided to form a temporary band to solidify a few songs they had all been thinking about, they finally recorded it record time (pun? maybe… lame…) and listening to it on the train to union station (which was also kick ass - trains are so cool, beats driving to the curb - pun? maybe, I hope not…). it made me all giddy and bright eyed and gave me the goosebumps. its a rough recording, since it was done in a 1/2 of day, plus none of the songs are set in stone as they are more of a jam band, meaning the songs change a bit every time. maybe its because i love them and were around for the childhood of the songs, but i think they are kick ass. hmmm i’ll get the songs on here soon… for now, here’s a few pictures during the recording.

iPod Classic…

So. Rene has given me an early birthday present b/c he said he was too excited and wanted me to have it now. That boy bought me an 80GB ipod classic! HOLY SHIT! It is so beautiful, as is he. The shuffle my brother gave me is awesome for bike riding and running and such, but I have missed having a screen, b/c some times the: “is this the song i want?” - listen - “no” - click next - “is this it?” - listen - “no” (repeat alot) gets boring.

This puppy holds up to 40,000 songs and 25,000 pictures. It also does videos, tv shows, podcasts, radio, scrolls through word documents… you guys know this i bet.

any ways. this is freaking cool. and Rene was so happy to save up for it to give to me.

Hello Blogging! Hello Business Cards?

Well, I haven’t been posting. Not in a long while. But I’m going to start up again - not too many, and not too long - but I’ll post to keep people updated a bit on my doings and thoughts.

Right now, I’m brainstorming about how to advertise for my photography. I really want to try this summer. I’m going to do some friends’ families and bands that I know soon to freshen up. I Just uploaded a wedding reception I did on my newly updated (and continuously so) websites: www.lindsayricketts.com/photography and www.flickr.com/lindsayricketts.

So its about time to get business cards. I’m feeling the pressure! I want to do something nice and simple, with a little “flare” I suppose. Here’s my first attempts, and I’d of course appreciate any input/suggestions.

lindsayricketts.com/photography

hey guys. a quick note that I shifted through lots of my photos, and put up a few new albums, including the “artsy” Europe ones on my photography page.

Europe: phase 4

im back. im actually clean. and none of my presents broke. all is well.

phase 4? to enjoy renewed time with family and friends, the post travel excitement.